As moms, we often find ourselves mentally comparing our lives to the others we see. The world of social media exaggerates any differences or inadequacies we may feel. What we often forget, though, is that we are seeing a "highlight reel" of our friends' lives. Seeing other people's success, whether it is their seemingly "perfect" children, super-clean house, or their organized, happy life can create bad thoughts in our own minds. We wonder why our house doesn't look like that. We wonder why our children are constantly fighting over the same toy when there are 2,000 other ones in the house.
We wonder if we are doing something wrong.
When bad thoughts like these start to creep in, a change in emotions follow. We may become sad or depressed, angry, etc. From that, our actions also begin to change. We might start complaining more, snap at our husbands when they walk in the door, or any number of other reactions. These actions create more bad thoughts and the cycle starts all over again. In order to break free, we need the Holy Spirit!
Bad thoughts also increase the intensity of our emotions. When we do not find a way to pull ourselves back down from that, the intensity just continues to increase and build upon itself.
Nancy and Misty shared some strategies to turn to when we find ourselves in this situation. Here are some things to think about and ideas to try:
- Be more mindful about what you are thinking about all day. This can be difficult because of kids/other distractions, but focusing on your thoughts and turning negative thinking into positive thinking can make a huge difference in your day!
- Slow down! This helps reduce the intensity of emotions.
- Make sure to make time for self-care. This could be a bath, a nap, time to sew, shop, watch TV, read a book, call a friend, girls' night out, or even just take a shower (without interruptions!) Whatever recharges YOU is important enough to take time to do.
- Practice intentional thinking all the time!
- Make sure your expectations are realistic. If they are not--change them!
- Serve others. God will bless us when we take time to serve others!
- Think of who you are hanging around. What do you talk about? Negativity is contagious, so pick your friends carefully.
- What music/TV/books are we exposing ourselves to? Just like negative friends, the things we listen to, read, and watch can affect us!
- Find someone to talk to that shares your faith and let them pour into you.
- Try playing the gratitude game--for every one complaint, think of two things that you are thankful for.
- Go around and share family highs and lows for the day.
- Tell people what you need.
- Similar to the gratitude game, try a "Love Sandwich" Share a positive, a vent, and another positive.
- Do your best to love and appreciate the time of life you are in--(as every older lady at Target always reminds me) it will not last forever.
- Try switching your thoughts from, "My kids are constantly taking from me." to "I am serving my kids right now in life."
If you feel like you are high on the emotional scale a lot and have trouble coming down, talk to your doctor about it. It does NOT mean that you're crazy! When you get upset, instead of getting frustrated, get curious instead and try to figure out why.
Ultimately, the most important thing to remember is that you, your children, family, and friends all need a savior, but that savior is not YOU!
Happy Thoughts from the Bible:
I will not worry. - Matthew 6:34
Got has not given me a spirit of fear. - 2 Timothy 1:7
I can do all things though Christ who gives me strength. - Philippians 4:13
I have control over my thoughts. - 2 Corinthians 10:5
There is hope for me. - Jeremiah 29:11
I can have peace at all times. - 2 Thessalonians 3:16
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