April 17th Meeting

Men’s Panel Recap

Bulleted questions are those that were asked by the moms in advance of the meeting or during the meeting.

On the panel:

Gary Hedstrom – American National Insurance, Dad & Grandpa

Ben Spinler – Owner of Seven Rendered, Dad of 5

Tim Haugen – Pastor at Bethel Church, Dad of 3

Joel Stauffer – Paster at New Life, Dad of 4

Jim Packard – Stay at Home Dad of 4

• How can we be good wives?
  • Women want love and husbands want respect. Try to show respect to your husband, which will encourage him to be a more loving husband.
  • Speak well of your husbands when your talking with your friends. Hold each other up, have each others’ backs.
  • Enjoy time together, having fun.
  • Provide encouragement – My wife and I have agreed to take time to consider our words before we say it. Husbands need to receive words of encouragement.

• How can I talk to my husband about his needs?
  • Recognize that he may be showing you his needs already. Try to be aware of what he’s told you or showed you in the past.
  • Communicate that you’re on his team, not on his back.
  • Husbands often need physical contact to feel loved. Respond well when he’s in the mood. Share with them your need for non-sexual touching while also asking them about their needs.
  • Best time to talk is when you’re doing something casual together, like sitting outside, folding laundry, cooking, etc.

• What do you like best about being a dad?
  • Teaching my kids something new.
  • Doing things together.
  • Talking with them about their need for a Savior – seeing their relationship with Jesus grow.
  • Creating big moments isn’t always the answer…make special moments out of the little things.

• Needs that you have as a dad?
  • Being spoken to and spoken of respectfully.
  • Receiving wife’s opinion in a respectful way.
  • Having relationships with other supportive dads, dads who will pray for you.
  • Like to be encouraged to spend time with each of my kids individually.
  • Show respect to your husband as the father of their kids, so your kids can respect their dad, but especially so they can then learn to respect their Father in heaven.

• What do you expect when you get home?
  • Having toys lying around and beds unmade isn’t a big deal. As long as we can see you had a valuable use of your time, that is important. (i.e. Reaching out to the neighbors, doing creative activities with the kids, etc.)
  • It’s important to protect meal times together – help make sure the family can arrange the time to have dinner together.
  • Greet me by showing you’re truly glad that I am home.

• What is your ideal date night/Father’s Day?
  • Having a date night with my daughters or an adventure night with my son is great…let the kids choose their activity and be truly interested in them while you’re together. Ask them questions such as how they think you’re doing as parents.
  • No tv on date nights.
  • We use a marble jar. Kids get to put a marble in their jar for good behavior. When it’s full, they get a fun day.
  • Date with wife – let the guy pick the restaurant and movie.
  • Father’s Day – Just hanging out, with no expectations of things to get done that day

• Faith/ Expectations of a God-fearing man
  • Willing to say we’re sorry
  • Puts family first
  • Actively teaches children about Jesus and accepting him as their Savior
  • Prays for their children
  • Prioritizes – Jesus first. Having lots of things and doing lots of things can look good to others, but it won’t work if God isn’t first in your family.

• What can wives do when their husbands are not saved or aren’t prioritizing God?
  • Moms should focus on demonstrating Jesus to your kids and teaching your children to follow God and to love their Dad.
  • Be an example to your husband of what it means to love God. Love your husbands, show them God’s grace.
  • Note what your husbands are doing well, rather than calling their attention to the negative.
  • Pray for him. God desires him even more than you do. Trust and rest in knowing that.
  • How you live will change their hearts.
  • Verses:

• How do you raise a Christian son?
  • Purity – work to protect what they see. Sexual images have a big affect on males. Need to be aware of what they are exposed to.
  • dress your daughters appropriately to protect other boys' eyes. When driving/shopping at MOA/etc, divert their attention from inappropriate billboards/stores/etc.
  • teach them that it's God's body, and we have to treat it appropriately
  • teach them that the Word is important, but model it too. "The ultimate measure of manliness is his willingness to die to himself and follow Jesus."